Thursday 26 July 2007

How my business trip turned into a vacation, almost.

It's the cardinal rule.
You don't get the important thing out to show off to show off to the assembled luminaries, when you're in a bar, jetlagged, and into your third beer.
The important thing in this case is the mock-up of my The Amazing Remarkable Monsieur Leotard. It took me and Anne four hours to photocopy in colour and wee Cal spent most of a day sticking on the word balloons.
And the problem with three beers is that they are apt to undermine your grasp of the cardinal rule.

It was around three o'clock the next day when I realized it was missing.
First place I went to of course was the bar. One day I intend to write a book about things left in bars. During the short spell I worked in one in Blackpool, while I was polishing glasses on a Sunday morning, an attractive girl came in and mumbled something with her hand half over her mouth. I cocked my ear. She mumbled again. She had lost her false teeth the previous night and was retracing her steps.

The mock-up wasn't in the hotel bar. But I hadn't been off the premises, to the best of my recollection. I went back to the room and consulted my external hard-drive. He was snoozing and objected to being woken up. I got through to him the intense importance of the situation. I was to hand the mock-up to my editor, the illustrious Mr. Mark Siegel that night so that we could discuss it over dinner the following night and map out all that had to be done on it before the absolute deadline three weeks away.
"While I was looking at the turtles in the decorative pond, you went to the bathroom."
The restroom in the hotel lobby. Of course. It wasn't there now. I asked a porter. he pointed to the front desk.
yup. They had it. I described page 15 in intimate detail to prove ownwership (since it hadn't occurred to me to write my name on it) and all was well.
Right, i'm off to breakfast.

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Blogger spacedlaw said...

Oh dear ! I now understand better your comment about catastrophe.
It does play like an unwritten chapter of "How to be an Artist"...

26 July 2007 at 10:44:00 GMT-5  
Blogger Christopher Moonlight said...

My external hard-drive is in the shower right now. She didn't get much sleep last night, and now I'm draging her to the con, so I'm sure we'll see you today.

26 July 2007 at 10:50:00 GMT-5  
Blogger jasonturner said...

I did a comic about losing a backpack (and the partially pencilled comic in the backpack). It doesn't help the next-day-locating process when you are not 100% sure which bars you were at.

26 July 2007 at 12:36:00 GMT-5  
Blogger Unknown said...


26 July 2007 at 15:19:00 GMT-5  
Blogger Hayley Campbell said...

You plonker.

(At this rate I'm going to run out of insulting - yet charming and endearing! - terms of abuse.)

Thank fuck fer Wee Cal. I like him. He's good.

(Snf! Oh I remember the days long past when I used to be your external hard-drive. Ah, alas, those were the days of rubbish PCs, floppy discs and zip drives. You've moved on, I see.)

26 July 2007 at 17:28:00 GMT-5  
Blogger Kimota94 aka Matt aka AgileMan said...

You're one lucky cluck, Mr C!

I've got a 20-year-old daughter who loses stuff on occasion, including one time when she left her purse on the city bus. The next day, we got a call from the transit authority, and sure enough: the purse, with all its contents intact, had been turned in to Lost & Found.

It's nice that these stories sometimes have happy endings...

26 July 2007 at 19:42:00 GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ohhh, the horror.

Garrison Keillor wrote a great story (?maybe the intro to Lake Wobegone Days?) about leaving his manuscript on a bus - but his is never returned. Of course it's the greatest, most unrepeatable thing he's ever written, and he can't remember any of it.

I lost my favourite pyjama pants on an overnight train in Spain (not as saucy as it sounds). When I inquired about them (stupidly, but hopefully) at lost property, the guy looked at me like I was, well, a total plonker. And I was.

26 July 2007 at 21:39:00 GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still think you do these things to appear interesting.


27 July 2007 at 00:08:00 GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, problem solved. I just uploaded a copy onto Bittorrent. If you lose it again, pretty much anyone at the con should be able to hand you a copy.


27 July 2007 at 05:07:00 GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What kind of idiot leaves important documents at the pub during a drinking session?

27 July 2007 at 07:10:00 GMT-5  

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