Wednesday, 12 September 2007

'looseners'

The plan: I'm going to head out of here at four, meet the Festival coordinator and put her mind at rest that I know what I'm doing in regard to these various panels, in spite of my 'insane rant' of a couple of weeks back. I will deftly demonstrate my command of the subject at hand, my familiarity with the work of the various guests and show that I am certainly the man to be trusted with the task. Then my pal White will turn up and we'll have a couple of 'afternoon looseners' and some eats before proceding to the festival's opening party. Eating out with White is always fraught with difficulty, or at least the 'afternoon looseners' part of it. I was sure I had told the anecdote on my blog, but can't find it, about how he got us all arrested one night. Present were Mick Evans and, this is the tricky part, wee Cal, aged then about nine. Chalky's argument was over the wrong sauce that had been served on his gourmet hamburger. He demanded that the chef come out and discuss the matter. The chef refused to come out. White refused to pay. He instructed the waitress to tell the chef that we would set up office in the coffee house across the road until the chef came down from his perch. Half an hour later the constabulary came and removed us from the coffee house. The belligerent one was prepared to get locked up over the difference between 'cordon bleu' and 'blue cheese'. We were stuck for a couple of hours at Police H.Q. and once we had paid the bill and were out I made the wee one swear to secrecy, otherwise his dear mother might not let him go anywhere with us again. But then I went and told the yarn at a dinner party a few weeks later, and as I looked around the table at the guffawing faces, my eye fell at last upon that of the wife of my bosom, transfixing me with the glare of Medusa.

*********
Sleepwalker orders a curry
"Next morning I had garlic breath and thought it odd. Then I went through my pockets and found some change and the bill. I was stunned. I would never have known had I not found the bill. I just hope I left a tip.
(via anonymous commenter yesterday)

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4 Comments:

Blogger spacedlaw said...

So you have a history (and a background - as far as pals are background) of fighting over semantics, eh ?
However I could dsupport you fully ont hat one (more my area of competence, I suppose): 'cordon bleu' is nothing like 'blue cheese'...

12 September 2007 12:53:00 am GMT-5  
Blogger Colman G said...

Tommy Tiernan does a bit about Abraham & Isaac, from the Old Testament. He retells the Bible story faithfully, and pretty much deadpan, until the very end, when the two are setting off back down the mountain.

A thought occurs to Abraham, and the relief and happiness he's been feeling suddenly vanish. He turns to his son.

"Isaac... don't breathe a WORD about this to the mammy."

(Eddie & everyone who's going, have a good time at the festival!)

12 September 2007 2:04:00 am GMT-5  
Blogger Eddie Campbell said...

colman,
that's twice you've made me laugh this week.

12 September 2007 4:33:00 pm GMT-5  
Anonymous Kioskerman said...

Dear Mr. Campbell.

I am a hugh fan of you from Argentina. I get every book from you that i can. I specially like Bachus an From Hell.
I wanted to get in contact with you by mail, so as to get your opinion on my "newspaper" online strip, wich i post in my web as Kochalka does. But i have a weekly basis and a fantastic theme.
My site is at www.kioskerman.com.ar
I will be so glad to receive your thoughts about it.
Thanks a lot.
My email is pablo@kioskerman.com.ar

Saludos!
Pablo

12 September 2007 10:35:00 pm GMT-5  

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