Monday, 28 May 2007

First photo of the Ashgrove groper!

Police catch the blackguard on surveillance camera!

May 27, 2007-Detective Inspector Bob Hytch said the offender – an opportunistic groper who often smiles at his unsuspecting victims – is responsible for the attacks committed between January 13 and November 22 last year. "He mostly rides past and turns around or approaches them from behind and always surprises his victims. He gropes them on the bottom, breast and groin,

THE FIRST I hear of the photo is the hystercal laughter of my daughter Erin. Dad, he looks just like you!

Yes, but that's not my bike.
Yes, but it says "The offender strikes in daylight between 8am and late afternoon, often using different types of bicycles, including a woman's bike." That's when you're out and about, and remember you borrowed mum's bike for a year after you broke your own.
"There are lots of reasons he may have access to a lady's bike. He may have access to several cheap bikes; the ones he has used are not sophisticated at all," Det-Insp Hytch said.
He's wearing one of your shirts, and look, he's got your esky on his head: Det-Insp Hytch said the foam helmet worn by the offender was rare and was not stocked in major cycling stores.
Wait, it's the phone. hayley from London
Dad! that's the funniest thing ever. I can't stop laughing.
How do you know about It?
Erin sent the link
aw. jeezis.
hey, dad, look on the bright side, they estimated your age at 38. I have to go and tell my flatmates my dad's a perv.
okay, honeybee.
...thanks for roning.

(line drawing above is from After the Snooter)

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Blogger Kelly Kilmer said...

OK, I won't tell you that I looked at the photo *Before* I read the "headline" and thought that looks like Eddie...
twiddle thumbs...

28 May 2007 at 00:29:00 GMT-5  
Blogger spacedlaw said...

Thanks for that giggle first thing in the morning !
Bet you did not know that riding a bike could be dangerous for your reputation.

28 May 2007 at 00:40:00 GMT-5  
Blogger Hayley Campbell said...

Fer fuck's sake, get a new helmet or you're done for. Your CYCLE OF FEAR has come to an end!

28 May 2007 at 04:45:00 GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But a new helmet would cost money, Hayley.

28 May 2007 at 06:45:00 GMT-5  
Blogger drjon said...

Kinda glad I don't wear shorts...

Hey, where'dya get that rear-view helmet mirror?

28 May 2007 at 06:46:00 GMT-5  
Blogger Hayley Campbell said...

Cost money? Oh, at the very least he could stretch a pair of The Mammy's underpants over the stark whiteness of his polystyrene bonce.

It wouldn't be the first time underpants were employed for practical things such as this -- avoiding arrest and imprisonment, holding gates together and whatnot.

Exhibit A:
Campbell the Younger now refers readers to the following post on Scary Trousers' blog:

28 May 2007 at 06:52:00 GMT-5  
Blogger James Robert Smith said...


I can't wait to read the arrest report here!

28 May 2007 at 08:54:00 GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha ha harrr harrahaha haugh ha...

Talk about Villains In My Home Town! Eddie, now how're you gonna sketch yourself down at the Roma St Mags? Did you think about that!?

What an uncanny likeness. Uncanny. Bwah harr harrrrr ha...

CYCLE OF FEAR!!! Ha harrr ha ha


28 May 2007 at 09:33:00 GMT-5  
Blogger spacedlaw said...

Knickers on the fence !
(another giggle - this is a great day)
I'm telling you : there's no respect to be had for creativity...

28 May 2007 at 09:40:00 GMT-5  
Blogger Christopher Moonlight said...

So I did feel something under the table, at dinner. I thought it was just a happy accident. And to think, I turned down your offer to pay. LOL

28 May 2007 at 21:22:00 GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha! The headline looked very excited actually, exclaimation mark and all (OMIGOD GROPER!), but you do bear an unfortunate resemblence to that dastardly grabber of privates.
Do you have to add that to your "Wanted" poster now?

29 May 2007 at 00:08:00 GMT-5  
Blogger Eddie Campbell said...

hello to everybody who stopped by and had a laugh at my expense.
i'll let you know if there are further developments

30 May 2007 at 22:10:00 GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

gives a new meaning to the wanted poster on the top right


4 June 2007 at 19:44:00 GMT-5  

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